Everything you need to prepare for and facilitate a Thriv’era small group.
You do not need to be an expert or have all the answers. You are being asked to create a trustworthy space and gently guide the conversation. Everything below is here to make that easier.
The purpose of a Thriv’era group
A Thriv’era group is not a class, lecture, or traditional book discussion. It is a guided conversation in good company.
The goal is not simply to cover material. It is to help people:
- notice their lives more honestly
- reflect more deeply
- speak more courageously
- listen more carefully
- live more intentionally
A healthy group feels warm, honest, unhurried, spiritually open, respectful, and grounded in real life.
Honest stories matter more than polished answers.
Your role as a leader
Your role is to:
- create welcome
- establish a calm and respectful tone
- guide the flow of the gathering
- ask good questions
- invite different voices into the conversation
- keep the discussion connected to real life
- protect confidentiality and emotional safety
- close the gathering with clarity and blessing
Think of yourself as part host, part shepherd, and part guide. You are not expected to be a therapist, theologian, spiritual director, or perfect example of these rhythms. Lead from honesty rather than expertise.
It is perfectly appropriate to say:
“I’m still learning this too.”
“That’s a good question.”
“Let’s sit with that for a moment.”
“Can you connect that to a real moment in your life?”
The posture of a leader
Bring calm, curiosity, humility, attentiveness, steadiness, and warmth.
- Do not rush to fix people.
- Do not over-explain.
- Do not force vulnerability.
- Do not rescue every silence.
Participation should always be invited, never forced. People are free to pass when they do not wish to answer.
Trust that God is already at work in the room. Your task is to help people notice.
The shape of a gathering
Most sessions will follow this general flow:
- Welcome and check-in
- Centering
- Ancient Wisdom and Scripture
- Story and reflection
- Conversation
- Manifesto and Refrain
- Intention
- Blessing
This movement helps people travel gradually from arrival to reflection, from reflection to conversation, and from conversation to faithful response.
Do not feel pressure to use every question. The goal is not coverage. The goal is engagement.
For a 90-minute gathering, conversation will usually take the largest portion of the time. Keep the room human rather than mechanical, and do not cram the closing because an earlier discussion ran long.
Preparing for each session
Read the guide slowly
Do not wait until just before the meeting. Give the material time to settle in you.
Identify the central movement
Each rhythm invites a particular movement.
Spirited
from striving to receiving
Creative
from performance to participation
Connected
from isolation to belonging
Present
from elsewhere to here
Grateful
from scarcity to remembrance
Generous
from clutching to open hands
Missional
from vague longing to the next faithful step
Choose your questions
You do not need to ask every question in the guide. Choose three to five that seem most useful for your group.
Anticipate the room
- Where might people hesitate?
- Where might the conversation become abstract?
- Where might someone feel especially vulnerable?
- What tone do I need to bring into the room this week?
Pray simply
Pray for warmth, attentiveness, wisdom, and trust.
Guiding good conversation
The strongest conversations usually follow this movement: experience → reflection → response.
Begin with lived experience
- “Tell about a time when…”
- “When have you noticed…”
- “What stands out to you?”
- “What stirred in you?”
- “Where did this show up in your life this week?”
Then move toward reflection and response
- “What might this mean for your life?”
- “What is one thing you want to carry with you?”
- “What practice might help you this week?”
- “What is one faithful next step?”
When the conversation becomes overly theoretical, ask:
“Can you connect that to a real moment in your life?”
This may be the most helpful question you ask.
The group covenant
At the first gathering, help participants understand that this is a journey rather than a performance. Thriving does not mean perfection, and no one is expected to offer polished or particularly spiritual answers.
Invite the group to practice these commitments:
- Show up as consistently as possible.
- Speak honestly from your own experience.
- Listen with attention and respect.
- Protect confidentiality.
- Make room for different voices.
- Allow people to pass.
- Avoid fixing, rescuing, or advising one another.
- Let silence be okay.
- Treat every person with dignity.
- Stay open to what God may be doing among us.
A simple way to introduce the group is:
“Welcome. This group is not about having the right answers. It is about paying attention to our lives, listening well, and making room for honest conversation. You do not need to sound polished or spiritual here. Participation is invited, not forced. Together, we will try to create a space where people can be real.”
When conversation gets hard
When one person speaks too much
“Thank you. Let’s make room to hear from someone who has not spoken yet.”
When no one speaks
Let the silence breathe. Then say:
“Take a moment. What part of that question feels most real to you?”
When someone begins giving advice
“Let’s stay with listening for a moment before moving toward solutions.”
When the group drifts
“That’s important. Let’s bring it back to the question in front of us.”
When someone shares something painful
“Thank you for trusting us with that.”
Do not rush to explain, fix, or minimize what was shared. Allow a moment of silence and offer steady presence.
When a deeper need emerges
A small group cannot provide every kind of care. If someone reveals a serious concern involving grief, depression, conflict, shame, or significant pain, respond with kindness and encourage appropriate support beyond the group. You might say:
“Thank you for sharing that. It sounds important and heavy. I’m glad you said it out loud. Let’s make sure you have the support you need beyond this gathering too.”
Bring serious pastoral concerns to the organizing pastor or group coordinator.
Closing the gathering
A good ending helps people leave grounded rather than abruptly released.
Near the end, ask one simple question:
- “What is one thing you want to carry with you?”
- “What word or phrase are you leaving with?”
- “What is one faithful next step for this week?”
Then move through the Manifesto, Refrain, Intention, and Blessing. Let the group read the Manifesto and Refrain together. Invite a participant to read the Intention, and let the leader speak the Blessing.
Do not rush the ending. Let it land.
Printable guides
Coming soon — a printable version of this leader guide, along with printable versions of all eight sessions.
A charge to Thriv’era leaders
You are not being asked to impress people.
You are being asked to help create a space where people can breathe, speak honestly, listen well, and be gently formed by these rhythms.
Lead with warmth. Lead with humility. Lead with trust.
The Spirit is already at work in the room.
Your task is to help people notice.